15 Things Only Partners of Scuba Divers Will Understand
Headless Horseman. Well not quite – but if you have ever been scared senseless by your partners wet or dry suit impersonating a headless house of horror type character, then you know what I mean.
Masked Ball. I can almost bet my life that unless you live with a scuba diver, you will never have come home to find your partner chopping onions wearing a mask and snorkel. (I know you’re going to try it next time!)
Tropical Vacations. It’s a tough old life being a non-diving partner and getting dragged to tropical destinations to while away your time on the beach.
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Equipment Room. In other people’s houses, this room is referred to as the bathroom. In your house, it always has the vague aroma of neoprene and at least one bit of dive gear hanging to dry at all times. After your partner has been diving it will be very difficult to get into the room, never mind bathe.
Black Rubber. No, not the sexy kind. Black O-rings, they are everywhere and in all the nooks and crannies of the car and transferred to the washing machine via unemptied pockets.
Finding Nemo. Not only have you lost count of how many times you have been made to watch the film you’re pretty sure you’ve absorbed enough marine life trivia to point out the real-world inaccuracies.
Excess Baggage. Scuba divers do not travel light, and if you have ever flown with one, you will have learned this by bitter experience. Not only have they stuffed their bags to bursting they will have commandeered any and all possible space in your luggage too. Double the pain if your aquatic-loving-lover happens to travel with an underwater camera too.
Suspension. You’re sure there was a time that your partner's car had it, but after repeated dive trips overloaded with tanks and weight belts, it’s a distant memory.
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Window Shopping. Scuba divers are renowned gadget lickers. They love to paw and stroke and can spend hours wandering around a dive show gazing loving at all the trinkets on display while never actually buying a thing. As a partner, you will likely subject yourself to this tedium at least once.
Commando. Underwear always seems optional to scuba divers. Maybe because there’s so much excitement to get into the water that it’s only when it comes to stripping off at the end that they realize they’ve forgotten dry underwear – yet again. Either that or they just can’t be bothered – who can say?
Saltiness. Whether it’s their post dive kiss, ocean styled hair, or water stained clothes there’s always something a little salty going on….
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Alternative lifestyle. Apart from using a mask as an onion-chopping-eye-protector, there will be other alternative uses of dive gear that have become so acceptable that they don’t raise an eyebrow. Dive weights used as paperweights or doorstops are commonly found in the home of a scuba diver along with a myriad of uses for decommissioned scuba tanks.
Documentary. You will never get control of the remote if there is anything vaguely ocean or marine life related on the box and you know the Blue Planet series so well that you know what’s coming next.
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Old Bag. Having once made the mistake of returning from shopping with plastic bags in tow and being given ‘the lecture’ you are now more likely to leave the shop with your purchases precariously balanced in your arms that attract the wrath of the lurking eco-warrior.
Dry Land. Scuba divers, like mermaids, suffer if their vitamin sea levels are not regularly topped up and you know it’s key to a harmonious relationship to ensure you don’t keep them away from it for too long. Don’t try and change them, their connection with the ocean cannot be broken.
Did We Miss Anything? Let us know if there is anything YOU would add to this list!